Friday, January 4, 2008

A David Mamet Review (Censored)

Walton Elementary production of "Twelve Angry Crayons"

It's as if....It's as if...I mean, the production quality is on par with s***! Who is the g****** stage manager? Is this theatre? Is this f***ing theatre, this garbage, this surrealist replacement of trash. Timmy Johnson (6)...this fairy...does not even understand the existentialistic questions asked by his character, Tickle Me Pink. You juice box drinker, you turd, you s***** little actor. Was that acting? Was that acting? I mean...it's as if...and this is me speaking on terms of humanity...it's as if your d*** s***ing soccer mom got you that part...it's...it's...it's... this is the nail in the wrist of theatre, you know? Crucifixion. Am I right? I mean...where is the passion I saw in last season's "Where the Sidewalk Ends" (Franklin Elementary Cafeteria)!

This...I don't know if I should even use this word...this production...this garbage...this trash....was directed by Mr. Davids...some fruit they gave a f***ing teacher certification...like it was f***ing oxygen, g****** State of Texas!

Do not see this show...I repeat, I repeat, do not see this show...unless you want to jam a f****** s***** piece of h***** in your f******* c*** you k**** u***** b**** ************

-David Mamet, Critic.

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